[mdlug-discuss] FW: Jeff Foxworthy Michigan jokes

[Robert Meier]

Are you aware that Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan? Read on.
(pretty funny and accurate) 
 

 
1. If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18
inches of ice and sitting there all day 
    hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan. 

2. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights
each year because Pellston is the 
    coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan. 

3. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You
might live in Michigan. 

4. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the
year, you might live in Michigan. 

5. If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work
there, you might live in Michigan. 

6. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Michigan. 

7. If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live
in Michigan. 

8. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live
in Michigan. 

9. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you might 
    live in Michigan. 



Part 2 - You know you're a true MICHIGANIAN / MICHIGANDER when . . .  

1. "Vacation" means going up north on I-75. 

2. You measure distance in hours. 

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. 

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.< BR> 

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching. 

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
weddings). 

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked. 

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to
use them. 

9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow. 

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction. 

 

 12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent. 

13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
blue spruce. 

14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age. 

15. Down South to you means Ohio. 

16. A brat is something you eat. 

17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn. 

18. You go out to fish fry every Friday. 

19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost. 

20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 

21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly." 

22. You drink pop and bake with soda. 

23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not
medicine. 

24. You can actually drink Vernors without coughing 

25. You know what a Yooper is. 

26. You think owning a Honda is Un-American. 

27. You know that UP is a place, not a direction. 

28. You know it's possible to live in a thumb. 

29. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
your Michigan friends. 



Enjoy,
-- 
Dr. Robert J. Meier